THE HITWOMAN UNDER PRESSURE (Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Book 15) Read online

  I’d love to say that I barreled in, shot all the bad guys, and rescued my sister. I’d really love to say that, but it’s not what happened.

  I burst in, gun drawn, and promptly tripped over the edge of the carpet. This time I wasn’t able to catch myself and went sprawling headfirst across the room like the ice skating elephant God had compared me to.

  When I lifted my head from the floor I saw two guns pointed at me, Darlene strapped to a kitchen chair, and a man standing behind her holding a knife to her throat, his back to the open window.

  “How sweet,” the man mocked. “A family reunion. I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on, unfortunately, there won’t be time.”

  Moving slowly, hands raised in surrender, I got to my knees, noticing that the gun that had flown from my hand when I’d tripped, was underneath Darlene’s right foot.

  My eyes met hers and I knew from the almost imperceptible nod she gave me that she knew about the gun and was intentionally hiding it from her captors.

  I brought my gaze up to meet that of the man with the knife. “You have me at a disadvantage.”

  “You think?” he laughed.

  His two cronies chuckled too, but I kept my attention on him. “I meant that you seem to know who I am, but I don’t know you.”

  He smirked. “Where are my manners? By all means, let me introduce myself. I’m Cyril Redcoat.”

  “I’m Maggie Lee.”

  “Yes,” he said impatiently. “I know that. I know all about you.”

  I cocked my head to the side, curious as to what he “knew” about me. “Really?”

  “Maggie Lee. Middle daughter of Mary and Archie Lee. Freaking martyr who gave up her low-level job at an insurance company to care for her orphaned niece. Mediocre. Boring. Predictable.”

  “So you were expecting me?” I taunted.

  He grimaced. “Well, from what I’ve been told, you managed to get your nieces away from my men.”

  “And Marlene,” I told him, though I said it for Darlene’s benefit so that she’d know her twin was safe.

  Redcoat tightened his grip on the knife. “Their reprieve was only temporary. When we’re done here I’m going to hunt down every single member of your family and make them pay.”

  I fought to keep my expression blank as I realized I’d inadvertently put my entire family in danger. I swallowed hard, trying to get control of my emotions.

  “You got company coming,” Mike cawed from outside the window. “Just keep him talking.”

  “You won’t get out of here alive,” I told Redcoat as I slowly lowered my arms to my sides.

  “Nice try, but what Darlene took for me, combined with this,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver flash drive keychain and dangled it in the air, “means there’s no rescue coming. Maybe an execution squad though, which is why we have to get out of here.”

  “You really think I came here alone?” I bluffed, trying to ignore how much my knees were starting to ache.

  Hesitation flickered across his face. “You’re trying to tell me you didn’t?”

  “I did not come alone,” I said, wishing God was still with me.

  “You’re lying.”

  I shook my head. “I swear on Darlene’s life.”

  Redcoat’s gaze narrowed suspiciously.

  “Almost here,” the crow coached from outside.

  “You kill us and you’ve got nothing to bargain with,” I told him. “They’ll just come in here, wipe everyone out and take that.” I focused on the flash drive.

  “Go check outside,” Redcoat ordered one of his men.

  As the guy left, I flicked my gaze to Darlene. With only one gunman in the room, it was time for me to make my move.

  “You’re almost as much of a pain in the ass as your sister,” Redcoat said conversationally. “Must run in your blood or something.”

  “Or something,” I agreed.

  “Now!” God boomed from the wall opposite the open window. “Now! Now!”

  Redcoat and his man turned toward the squeaking noise.

  I dove toward Darlene’s feet as she kicked the gun toward me.

  “Take that, buster!” Mike crowed, as beating his wings, he flew at Redcoat who instinctively raised his hands to protect his face. A flash of silver flew through the air.

  In one miraculously fluid motion, I grabbed the gun, rolled over and shot the henchman who was taking aim at me.

  We both pulled the trigger at the same time.

  My shot hit him dead center just as a white-hot pain ripped open my arm causing me to drop the gun.

  I reached for the gun, knowing I needed it to stop Redcoat who was crashing around the room, trying to escape the bird’s relentless attack. Picking up the gun, I turned toward them, just as Redcoat jumped through the window.

  “Got ya on the run now, sucker!” Mike crowed victoriously.

  I gave him a weak thumbs-up.

  Flapping his wings, he flew out the window.

  “We’ve still got the other people to deal with,” God reminded us.

  “Cut me loose,” Darlene said. “He dropped the knife.”

  I crawled over to the fallen knife, trying to ignore the shooting pain in my arm. I used it to cut through the ties that kept Darlene bound.

  While I sawed, God ran up my uninjured arm.

  “The sight of blood makes me queasy,” he moaned pitifully as he took up his usual post in my bra.

  “Lotta guys with guns headed your way,” Mike warned us from outside the window.

  Gunfire popped outside.

  Jumping to her feet, Darlene grabbed the knife from me and rushed to the window. “This way.”

  “There’s a drop,” I warned.

  “It’s the only way.” She jumped out of it.

  I heard voices coming from the front of the house.

  “That door is no longer a viable egress,” God said. “You have to use the window.”

  Dragging myself to my feet, I moved to the window.

  As I threw one leg outside the lizard added, “Be careful how you fall. Don’t forget I have sensitive skin.”

  Taking a deep breath, like I was jumping into a pool of water instead of onto dry land, I tightened my grip on my gun and leapt.

  My ankle crunched and I toppled to the ground once my feet hit. Looking around I didn’t see my sister. “Darlene?” I whispered. “Where are you?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Darlene,” I called on a whisper again, as I struggled to my feet. I grabbed my throbbing arm and bile rose in my throat as I realized that the sticky warmth I felt was my blood. I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to retch.

  “Which way?”

  Startled, I swung the gun in the direction of the voice before realizing it was her. I quickly lowered it to my side.

  “Which way?” she repeated.

  I looked around, trying to get my bearings. I didn’t know if it was the pain or the blood loss, but everything seemed fuzzy.

  “Follow me,” Mike called.

  Sticking the gun in the waistband of my pants, I said, “Come on.” Grabbing Darlene’s hand, I dragged her with me as I followed the bird up the hill.

  For a while, all I focused on was the bird and not tripping as we climbed.

  “How’d you find me?” Darlene asked when we’d almost reached the top of the hill.

  “Whitehat,” I panted.

  “Uh oh,” Mike squawked.

  Looking up, I saw Redcoat a few feet away.

  I tried to raise the gun in his direction, but the pain was too much. Searing agony made me gasp. I attempted to tear my good hand away from Darlene, but she was latched onto it like it was a lifeline.

  Redcoat lunged toward us. I tried to jump away, tripped, and dragged Darlene with me.

  Chapter 25

  When I was a little kid I used to love rolling down this long, manicured hill at the park. I loved everything about it. The smell of the grass and the way the blades tickled my
face, the sense of freedom as gravity took over, the way I arrived at the bottom dizzy and breathless and ready to do it again.

  This hill was not manicured and I hated rolling down it. Gravity took over and I couldn’t stop my descent as I bounced and bumped my way down over ruts and roots and bushes that scratched at me. The fall was wild and out of control and when I arrived at the bottom I was dizzy, breathless and in so much pain that for a moment I couldn’t see anything.

  I just lay there and moaned, trying to catch my breath.

  “Sensitive skin,” God groaned. “I told you I have sensitive skin.”

  “Maggie?”

  Hearing Darlene’s voice reminded me she was nearby. I also remembered that Cyril Redcoat could be too.

  I struggled into a sitting position and saw the man was hurrying down the hill toward us.

  “I lost the gun,” I whispered aloud.

  “Get up,” Darlene ordered, grabbing my uninjured arm. “Get up.”

  I awkwardly got to my feet. My ankle throbbed. Together we hobbled toward the road. Redcoat wasn’t far behind us.

  “I’m sorry, Maggie,” Darlene sobbed. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

  “I know.”

  “I tried to protect you.”

  “Yellow car’s coming fast,” Mike cawed.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I tried to protect you,” Darlene repeated, thinking I was talking to her.

  “Shut up, Darlene. I can’t hear.”

  “Hear what?”

  “Yellow car is coming fast.”

  Suddenly I remembered what Armani had said. “Two wrongs make a right.”

  “Run,” I told Darlene. “Hide.”

  “No.”

  “Trust me, Darlene,” I said, shaking her. “Run. Hide.”

  “But—”

  I said the one thing I knew would make her leave me. “Do it for your daughters.”

  I saw her hesitation. Her pain. Her doubt.

  “They need you,” I said gently. “Run.”

  So she did.

  “You could run too,” I said to God as I swayed unsteadily.

  “And miss all the fun?” he quipped.

  I heard the engine of a car racing toward me from one side. Redcoat was quickly approaching from the other.

  “How the hell did Vinny find me?” I muttered aloud.

  “He’s been following you since you left that other house in your neighborhood,” Mike supplied helpfully.

  “And you didn’t think to mention that?” God griped.

  “I didn’t want to distract her,” the bird countered. “I figured she had enough on her mind. Besides, I didn’t know the guy was a problem.”

  “A problem?” God screeched. “He’s trying to kill us.”

  “Me,” I corrected. “He’s trying to kill me.”

  So was Redcoat who was now running at me full speed, like he was a lion who realized that I was an injured gazelle to be picked off.

  I thought of Patrick’s self-defense lesson. “Eyes. Nose. Throat. Groin.”

  “Does that ever work for you?” the lizard asked. “And don’t forget you’ve only got the use of one arm.”

  Ignoring him, I faced Redcoat and yelled, “Let’s make a deal.”

  Ignoring my plea, he charged toward me. I saw a glint of metal in his hand.

  “I think he found my gun,” I told God.

  “Maybe you should roll away again,” he suggested drily.

  The engine roared as the car sped toward me.

  Redcoat raised the gun.

  “You can’t play chicken on two sides,” Mike squawked with alarm. “Run, girlie! Run!”

  “Listen to the bird,” God pleaded.

  I’d love to say I timed everything right and ducked out of the way of the two men who wanted me dead at the last moment but I didn’t.

  Chapter 26

  I passed out.

  At least that’s what Mike told me happened.

  I don’t remember a thing. One minute I was standing there, between two men who wanted me dead. The next thing I knew, I woke up behind the wheel of Armani’s car, which was parked in the lot of The Corset.

  “Is this Hell?” I groaned.

  “It’s New Jersey,” God replied from inside my bra. “I’ve heard Hell is further south, maybe in Florida.”

  “What happened?”

  “They bandaged you up and brought us here. According to that miscreant Mike, you ‘took a header’ at the exact right moment. Redcoat fired at the instant you fainted. The bullet missed you, as you crumpled to the ground, which, by the way, I would have appreciated some advance notice of.”

  “I was shot,” I reminded him.

  “So what? That’s no reason to lose consciousness.”

  “Blood loss isn’t a reason?”

  He sniffed haughtily. “The man who performed first aid said the wound is superficial…like your excuse.”

  Deciding that elevated blood pressure could cause my “superficial” wound to gush, I tamped down my temper and said, “So Redcoat fired and I fell.”

  “Collapsed like a brick wall. The bullet hit Vinny, who swerved, missed you, and plowed into Redcoat.”

  “So they’re both dead?”

  “I don’t know. Mike didn’t say.”

  “And you didn’t think to ask?”

  “I was distracted by the fact that I had to hide from the guy who was ripping your shirt off.”

  I looked down at my arm. “This isn’t my shirt.”

  A cell phone rang.

  “That isn’t my phone.”

  “Answer it anyway,” God urged.

  I picked the phone up. “Hello?”

  “How are you feeling, Ms. Lee?” Ms. Whitehat asked through the phone.

  “Confused.”

  “That may be the pain reliever you were given.”

  That was as good a reason as any, so I didn’t argue with her.

  “You were lucky. The bullet just grazed you.”

  “Lucky me,” I drawled sarcastically.

  “Have you ever been shot before?”

  “Uh…no.”

  “There’s a bottle of antibiotics and pain relievers for you in the bag in the center console of the car. Make sure you take them with you. We wouldn’t want Miss Vasquez getting hold of them.

  “Okay,” I said, opening the console, taking out the bag, and putting it on the seat behind me.

  “I need you to go home. Once there, you’ll be surprised to discover that Marlene has been found and taken to the hospital.”

  “And Darlene?”

  “She’s back with her family.”

  “And they’re safe?”

  “The safest they have ever been. With Redcoat eliminated, they could have a normal life.”

  “Could?” I asked.

  “Things would be better for them if she’d managed to recover the flash drive Redcoat always carried.”

  I remembered the shiny glint of the keychain and how it had gone flying when Mike had attacked the man.

  “It hasn’t been found,” Whitehat continued. “The thinking is that one of his men managed to escape with it and that complicates things.”

  Realizing that I’d been the one to leave it behind in that house I said, “If I’d known…”

  “Go home, Ms. Lee. You’ve done a good job saving the day.”

  “I got lucky,” I admitted.

  “Luck kisses those brave enough to show up.” Whitehat disconnected the call.

  While I slowly and cautiously, aware my reaction time might be impaired by whatever Whitehat’s people had given me, drove back to the B&B, God filled me in with what he knew.

  “You tumbled to the ground, almost crushing me,” he reprimanded from inside my bra.